Evolution of a Manuscript: Part 1 – On-the-Go Scribble to Writing Space

I’d like to take you through my iterations of a draft, from first conception to final product.  I’ve chosen one paragraph to do this way and dissect–the opening of my latest scene as of 7 March 2020.  Hopefully, you will come to the determination that the final draft is a good one, and one that is as close as possible to being publish worthy.

Gmail draft:  Gmail is an excellent conduit for writing on the go.  When you’re not in front of your desk or designated writing area, gmail is at your fingertips anywhere and everywhere, and will save your muse’s life.  It’s accessibility from any device is a godsend.  Boring meetings?  Pull up your draft in Gmail.  Bad gas station sushi?  Pull up your draft in Gmail.  On hold?  Pull up your draft in Gmail.  Listening to your boss drone on in a meeting?  You get the idea.

Here is the conception of my on-the-go draft in Gmail:

me_gadnor

Rough huh?  Yea…

Here it is again, copied into Scrivener and polished up a bit sitting in my designated writing area–my lovely desk in a room full of windows with a view at my lovely garden–this an important distinction for every writer:

me_gadnor2

This is less rigid, a little more sensory, and a bit less disjointed, but it still feels choppy.  There are several bits that don’t flow as smooth as I want.  Also, the POV, Gadnor, comes off too creepy in the first paragraph, and the sentence about Princess Lithaneva being wary doesn’t exactly seem to fit–wary of what?  There really isn’t anything mentioned yet that warrants that reaction.  The last sentence is also very wordy and redundant.

Also, this draft feels like it’s from the POV of an onlooker, and my goal is to transport the reader so they become the main character, and this doesn’t quite feel like I’ve done that.

So, with a few changes with those bits in mind, here is what I came up with:

me_gadnor3

It’s not at all ready, but it’s on it’s way to becoming something I feel good about showing to the world.  I’ll sleep on this and take another look tomorrow.  Stay tuned for part 2 of Evolution of a Manuscript.

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